Where am I standing, what to do and why I am living like this?
Questions after questions, can't search any answer.
I am in this professional world since 4 months. Right now I am completely surprised by the experience which I am facing past few days. Fear of being cheated from a professional partner. No such projects in hand, hard to find the hopes of surviving in the future as marketing is not so easy part and due to which bringing project in our hands is really tough to do.
I am already doing a job in a company. While joining I was so much enthusiastic and filled up with energies but now I fill like seriously I am not worthy for a job at this moment. I don't have any skill. When I was in my college I use to sit with my laptop and make any possible application which I didn't have imagine that I will be able to create. I was a master developer at that age though compared to professional I am not so good like them but though at such age I was pretty good enough to make something, but look at me now, I have lost my enthuse, my confidence, the possibilities which I can reach with my ability, all these has been lost from my head. I have started to believe that I am not good and can't be even.
From Developer to Tester, I don't know what I have lost in the mid way, and even I can't compare that where the gain is bigger than my loss or not. I really need to decide something, that what I should do? which path I should choose to walk on.
I am not getting time for myself, each day I am busy with some work or something which I really can't do, but trying hard to concentrate on it.
Where the hell is my concentration ?
I am dividing myself, my life, my time in more than 3 paths and ultimately gaining nothing out of it.
I think I was looking at the money which I am earning. The thought that suppressed me was that at this age of my life, my friends (colleagues) are earning 20,000 per month and me? just 10,000 that also with 2000 rupees per month traveling expenses. Ultimately I am losing the self respect due to which the desire to live is diminishing.
Questions after questions, can't search any answer.
I am in this professional world since 4 months. Right now I am completely surprised by the experience which I am facing past few days. Fear of being cheated from a professional partner. No such projects in hand, hard to find the hopes of surviving in the future as marketing is not so easy part and due to which bringing project in our hands is really tough to do.
I am already doing a job in a company. While joining I was so much enthusiastic and filled up with energies but now I fill like seriously I am not worthy for a job at this moment. I don't have any skill. When I was in my college I use to sit with my laptop and make any possible application which I didn't have imagine that I will be able to create. I was a master developer at that age though compared to professional I am not so good like them but though at such age I was pretty good enough to make something, but look at me now, I have lost my enthuse, my confidence, the possibilities which I can reach with my ability, all these has been lost from my head. I have started to believe that I am not good and can't be even.
From Developer to Tester, I don't know what I have lost in the mid way, and even I can't compare that where the gain is bigger than my loss or not. I really need to decide something, that what I should do? which path I should choose to walk on.
I am not getting time for myself, each day I am busy with some work or something which I really can't do, but trying hard to concentrate on it.
Where the hell is my concentration ?
I am dividing myself, my life, my time in more than 3 paths and ultimately gaining nothing out of it.
I think I was looking at the money which I am earning. The thought that suppressed me was that at this age of my life, my friends (colleagues) are earning 20,000 per month and me? just 10,000 that also with 2000 rupees per month traveling expenses. Ultimately I am losing the self respect due to which the desire to live is diminishing.
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